respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My pussy is not your playground.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
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Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
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On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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