hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
