Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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