Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
