I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
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I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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