i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I currently don't understand fingers.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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