he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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