Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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