i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
