Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
