Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
