I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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