I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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