Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
