consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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