he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
