Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
