i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
