Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
