"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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