if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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