Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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