Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
