I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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