I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
