I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
So vagazzling was a success
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