I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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