so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize