Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
