im drinking this country out of the recession.
please come you make the beer taste better
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize