Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
