Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
