She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
