To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
did you just send me my own nude
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
