I cannot find my penis.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
