lets start a swedish sibling band together
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
