There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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