hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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