you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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