RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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