I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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