Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
