There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
