Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
