Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Randomize
