I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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