never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Use "feeling words"
Yay
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
