I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
