...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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