He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
