He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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