I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
