Need sex. Gaining weight.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.