The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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