I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
