you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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