i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
