Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
