yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
